The missing piece of the puzzle

Since school started in August, I have become low man on my own totem pole once again. I am a bit confused by it as it really seemed like through the Transformation Challenge earlier this year, I had really changed my lifestyle. I was making healthier choices in my food, my daily life and exercise had become a very good habit…going to the gym was a given, almost every day. Packing my gym bag was just part of my daily routine without giving it any thought. And while I hadn’t managed to lose any more weight from the time the Challenge wrapped up to the time school started, at least I hadn’t gained which was a biggie for me.

Then school started and I think every mother can relate to the craziness that is shuffling kids to and from school, working (at home or out of the home, it’s still work!), housework, laundry, lunches, sports practices, etc, etc.

I think what added to my chaos this year was our attempt to save some money by not enrolling Grace into the afterschool program we had previously paid $400+ a month for. We just couldn’t afford it any more. Between friends, family, Girl Scouts and adjusting my work schedule, we manage to get her picked up every day from school. But it adds to the stress and the time constraints that were already in my life. I do question whether the stress and time is worth the $400 a month, but it’s not really a question of that at this point. Money is tighter than ever for us and we just flat out can’t pay it this year. It’s not a choice, unfortunately.

Add to the changes in my work schedule (somedays working 6am to 2pm, other days working 9am to 7pm) my doctor put me on Yaz for PMDD. Boom! 10 lbs gained, the first week, without changing anything else in my life. Whoa! What is THAT all about??? Talking to friends, they all had the same phenomena occur. Lovely. So when I see my OB on December 21st and she asks why my weight isn’t down as she had talked about at our September appt, I can tell her because of the stupid Yaz, that’s why!

Ok, so enough background on the why’s of my being back to within one pound of my heaviest weight - which also happens to be the weight I started out the Transformation Challenge at back in March. What am I going to do about it? Why can’t I put myself first consistently for more than just a couple months? I think to get this weight off and make it stick, I really need to look at the reasons why I eat and the reasons why I obviously don’t feel I deserve to be thin or happy.

Really, my life is pretty darn good other than my weight. My marriage is stronger than ever and our sex life is still pretty happenin’ despite three kids and my weight gain. My kids are blessings, each and every one. My job is good – good pay, decent benefits, flexible and understanding about sick kids and field trip chaperoning. I have wonderful family and friends who are always so supportive and loving. It seems that being thinner and healthier would be the last piece of the puzzle to make it all complete. I just need to find that piece...you know, the one that you can't find, that you swear must have never been put in the box at the puzzle factory, that you look for and look for and look for in the shag of the carpet, or blame your husband for accidentally throwing it away or worse, hiding it from you on purpose. That piece that finally turns up right where you were looking all along.

My mission is now not just to lose weight and get healthy, it's to find that missing puzzle piece and make it all fit and make sense. Today, I start this weight loss journey for what will hopefully…nope, gotta be more positive than that…for what WILL BE the last time! Wish me luck!!

Christmas is a-comin!

I know many of you have little ones (kids, grandkids, nieces, nephews, you name it) to buy for so I thought I'd pass along these great deals! Coupons.com has some amazing Hasbro coupons on a whole slew of toys. Many of them are for the toddler and younger set, but if you have someone buy for in that age range, this is a great savings opportunity.

1. Go to www.coupons.com
2. Select "toys" from the list on the left of the page
3. Click the coupons you are interested in
4. Click print

I have printed two copies of a few of these so while I know there is probably a limit to the number of copies you can print, I know it's more than two. And no photocopies because IF the clerk is paying attention, they aren't supposed to take them without the little polka dots on the expiration date which don't come through on a xerox. :)

Other tid bits:
- A lot of these coupons are for $5 off and some even for $10 off!!
- Target has a lot of the toys, but not all of them are in-store so you're dealing with shipping, etc
- If you aren't opposed to shopping at Walmart (personally, I hate the place, but would go there for some of these deals!) then you can save even more. Their prices are more reasonable than Target or even Kmart most of the time. But in this case, it might pay to do some research on the web before you go. You can check for in-store availability on both the Target and Walmart sites.
- Coupons don't expire until January 2010

Example: Playskool Step Start Walk n Ride for my nephew
Target price: $20 plus shipping
Walmart price: $16 in store (they have these in the Paso store - yay!)
Coupon: $10 off
Final price: $6!!!

Crazy low prices, ladies and gentlemen. Have fun saving!!

Why I love this crazy roller coaster ride we call motherhood

Scott had to go to work early on Friday so we could not share the drop off duties like we do on a lot of days. We are fortunate and there is only one day (Wed) that all three kids need to be in three different places, luckily not all at the same time! In any event, I was dropping off all three kids, only in two different places on Friday - yay! :)

The morning was going relatively well....we all got out the door early - a tremendous feat in itself - so I told the kids we could stop for donuts since they ate their healthy breakfast and we had a little extra time. Got to the donut shop, got all their requests processed and ordered and got us seated, relatively calmly in the tiny little Templeton donut shop without too much disruption to other customers. Averted a small crisis when Ian almost burst into tears because he thought I forgot to get him his chocolate milk. No, no, my little man, it's right here, buddy, Mommy wouldn't forget.

Partway through our morning treats, Gracie has to use the restroom. No big deal, right? Well, except the bathroom in this particular establishment is way back, past the counter, through the kitchen and around the corner with some very narrow passageways between the donut making equipment. I look at Ian and Daniel calmly eating their donuts. I can't imagine either: a. traipsing back through all that with the three kids in tow, or b. leaving the boys out front alone to cause complete chaos in my absence. "Gracie, can you wait until we get to school? It will just be a few minutes?" Nope. Note to self: NEVER leave home without everyone using the restroom, even for the 15 minute trip to the donut store. "Do you think you can go back by yourself if I ask the lady if you can use the restroom?" Yes. Whew! Ok, crisis #2 averted. I'm feeling pretty good.

Everyone finishes their donuts, we clear off the table and throw away trash, walk out onto the lawn of the donut shop and there is a HUGE delivery truck which Daniel is so excited to see. Grabs my hand and pulls me closer saying "big tuck...big tuck!" Major warm fuzzies on that one. Load everyone in the car uneventfully.

Get to school, get everyone out and onto school grounds, then let Daniel down to "run free." He loves Gracie's school playground. He runs around in and out of the sandbox and the walkways babbling to himself and using his new words: whoa! and wow! So fun to watch! Get Gracie into class successfully and start heading back to the car with the boys. On the way back, Daniel is scuffing through the sandbox, laughing at the cloud surrounding him, looking like pigpen in miniature. He gets to the edge of the sandbox and the step down is large enough to make him hesitate for just one second. Before I can even begin to move in his direction, there's Ian, playing the good big brother, holding out his hand to help Daniel down. Major warm fuzzies!

Do you think my day could continue to go this smoothly? Well, of course not.

Daniel does not want to leave. Nor does he want to be carried. Or hold my hand in the parking lot. So what started out as a blissful morning turned into my carrying my youngest child out to the car kicking and screaming the whole way with other mothers looking at me like I'm an abusive parent because their kids were obviously old enough that they'd forgotten what it was like to deal with a toddler or apparently had never had tantrums when trying to be forced into their carseats. As these moms wander off to their cars with their well-behaved children, but of course not without a glance our way with that "what is she DOING to that child?" question on their faces, I continue on in what feels like my final exam in baby wrestling 101. No toy or sippie cup of milk, no brother playing peek a boo or mommy saying, "C'mon! We're gonna go see Grandma!" is going to calm this child. Oh, no. He is behaving as if he were a vampire and that car seat were made out of garlic. I start to think his skin will actually melt should it come in contact with the Britax.

But alas, my will is stronger than his and he succumbs. He does melt...but only into a limp, crying, snotty, sweaty little boy. He begrudgingly allows me to buckle him in and screams at the top of his lungs as I wipe his nose and face free of tears and snot. Then, when the entire parking lot is cleared and no one else is there to witness my success, to hear the silence, he picks up the travel magna doodle I'd been trying to appease him with for the past 10 minutes and starts happily scribbling away, babbling and laughing. Seriously, kid? I kiss his cute little sweaty head and get in the car.

Of course, it has been uncharacteristically humid lately and I am now a big sweaty mess myself. With snot on my shirt. And smeared donut glaze I must have missed with the baby wipes when cleaning Daniel's hands. And I just realized I forgot to put deodorant on this morning because I was interrupted by one of the three kids when trying to get ready. Nice. Going to be a lovely day, I can tell.

But as I was driving to Grandma's to drop the boys off, I had one of those moments that makes you realize that it really is indeed all worth it. Ian and I have a game we play, trying to see who loves the other one more. I love you more than all the stars in the sky! I love you more than all my hot wheels! No, all the wheels on all my hot wheels! That sort of thing. So Ian starts this up while I'm driving away from the school. We banter back and forth and as I'm getting on the freeway he's trying to think of something to top my, "I love you more than all the sand on all the beaches in the whole world!" I hear "um....um...I love you....um...." He's thinking about it. Finally he blurts out, "I love you more than all the boogers in my nose!" Stifling back the laughter, I conceded, "Okay, you win, buddy, you love me more."

Yep, it's going to be a lovely day after all!

1/2 Marathon Training - Week 1, Day 3

Technically this is only day 2 for me, since I missed a workout. But rather than have the numbers all mixed up between the training calendar and here, I'm just calling it day 3.

I mis-read my training plan in my rush to get to the gym on my lunch hour. I thought it said 2.5 miles, but it really said 25 min of running OR X-training. I did the 2.5 miles which worked out to about 25 min anyway, so we'll call it even. Here's the stats:
Time: 5 min warmup + 28 min + 5 min cooldown = 38 min total
Avg Heart Rate: 133
Max Heart Rate: 162
Calories Burned: 312

I also took Sculpt today and here are the stats for that:
Time: 57 min
Avg Heart Rate: 117
Max Heart Rate: 143
Calories burned: 327

I probably burned more than 327 cals in Sculpt but I forgot to start my monitor until the second or third track. Close enough though.

The run was a struggle today and I'm gueesing that's because I ran 3 miles yesterday, which was a lot for me. So today I had to take a few breaks walk twice for 0.10 - 0.25 miles. But I finished strong, taking the last quarter mile at 4.8 mph, which is fast for me.

Tomorrow's a rest day and my legs could definitely use it. Friday is another workout and then our 4 mile run on Saturday. Wahoo! Keep fingers crossed it stays cool and overcast Saturday morning until my run is done. Then the sun can shine all he wants.

Happy Hump Day All!

Mixing it up a bit

Since the Transformation Challenge has ended, I have been hovering around the same number on the scale for weeks now. I just can’t seem to break past to a new low. I know my body can get there, it’s been there before and way beyond. But I’m on somewhat of a plateau. Even with the stomach flu last week, I’m right back up to where I was the week before. I had rather hoped a few of those pesky pounds would just take the hint already and stay gone.

I mean, really, it’s not that surprising that I lost 10 lbs in those three days given that I was so dehydrated and ate nothing for two of those days. And I expected to gain a few back…sadly, my body had other ideas.

Ok, ok, maybe it was the ice cream and French fries I had the first day I got my appetite back. But c’mon! Even if you say those two items were 5000 calories, which I think is a little high, it seems that couldn’t possibly counteract the four days straight of averaging less than 500 calories in saltines and jello, could it? Could it?? COULD IT???? Just agree with me here, I guarantee things will move along much more quickly if you do. Thanks.

In any event, I’m stuck. Can’t get past that number-that-shall-remain-nameless on the scale. So I’ve decided to mix it up a bit. Make some changes. What’s that definition for insanity? Doing the same thing and expecting different results? Ok, then.

Changes to my food plan:

1. No eating after 7:30 PM. This has been very successful for me in the past, I just have a hard time sticking to it for longer stretches. It is challenging because sometimes I don’t get to eat until after the kids are in bed. But I’ll just have to make more of an effort.

2. No sweets. I don’t eat a lot of them right now, but I do have a small goodie about every other day if it fits in my points for the day/week. No more. I’m allowing myself one treat a week on Friday nights. Not gonna go overboard, not gonna eat all my flex points and then some in ice cream, but a normal-sized portion of a treat once a week should be okay.

3. No white flour; only whole grains. Nuff said.

4. Try harder to get at least 6 servings of fruit/veggies per day

5. No more diet coke!!! I have said this before and I hopefully won't have to say it again. I'm quitting the diet coke habit once and for all. Water, water, water, water!!!

As for mixing up the exercise, I am hoping the cardio boost I’m getting from the City to Sea training is sufficient as far as that is concerned. I am still going to hit Combat once or twice a week, Fight Club from time to time and of course, Sculpt and Rock Bottom.

Wish me luck. Watch here for -hopefully– weekly updates on my battle with that stubborn scale.

1/2 Marathon Training - Week 1, Day 2

After being on death’s door last week, yesterday was my first day back at the gym in over a week. I was a little nervous about being able to keep up in Combat. Adding to the anxiety was the fact that the City to Sea training starts this week and while I was up to running 2.5 miles a few times a week before I got sick, I wasn’t sure what I’d be up to this week.

Combat was much better than I expected. I tried to push myself as hard as I could and I don’t think I have ever worked that hard in that class before. It was a killer class and I am proud of myself for my effort. I only wish I had my heart rate monitor on (d’oh! Left it in the locker room!) to know how many calories I burned because I’m guessing - and keep in mind this is just an estimate – I’m guessing it was a lot! And I forgot that I was even sick last week because honestly, it felt like I hadn’t really been away from the gym at all. Well, that’s probably a lie, but just a white one. I think it was a little tough at first, but once I forced my brain to stop thinking about the fact I hadn’t worked out in many, many days, then my body forgot too. Funny how that works.

I didn’t get into the gym early enough to run before Combat, which was my intention, so I went back after work and ran then. On the training plan was 3 miles or 35 min. I picked 3 miles just to see if I could do it. Amazingly enough, I could. I ran for the first 2.25 miles, walked a half mile, then pushed through and sprinted the last 0.25 mile. It felt good. It kicked my butt…but it felt good. Here’s the stats for anyone interested:
Warmup: 5 min at 3.5 mph walking
Cooldown: 5 min
Total time: 52 min
Distance: 3.26 miles (including warmup/cooldown)
Max Heart Rate: 166
Avg Heart Rate: 141
Calories burned: 470

Two days down, sixty-seven more to go…but who’s counting?

Because I'm lazy...

I'm literally cutting and pasting an email I sent some friends this morning. Read it and you'll know why. :)

-------------

Sorry I've been MIA. Here's the timeline of our last week:

Thurs: Scott picks up kids from daycare and learns three other kids puked that day. Nice.
Sat: Gracie started vomiting, felt better Sunday though...
Mon: Gracie started in again
Later Mon: Scott started
Sometime between Mon and Tues: Ian and I started
Tues pm: everyone seemed relatively well - whew!
Wed early am: I started again. And again. And again. Every 20-45 min for 12 hours. I would have gone to the hospital, but by the time it was convenient for Scott to take me, I felt I was through the worst of it. I am probably still dehydrated and would probably be recovering better had I received fluids, but I'll manage. I think I could have come back to work sooner had I done that, but oh well, it's just work, right? LOL I'm back today though dull-eyed and saggy-tailed. :)

When I called the dentist in SLO to cancel the kids' appts on Tues morning, they said I was the third parent to call and cancel because of stomach flu that morning and it was only 8:45! Watch out and stay healthy...and obviously stay away from those damn Thayers! LOL

Seriously though, if I haven't responded to email or something, that is why. I literally did not leave our master bedroom for two entire days.

On the plus side, I dropped 10 pounds (well, 9.8 to be exact and obviously all fluid, but I'll take it!) in two days and kicked my diet coke habit since I haven't been able to drink it fand now I don't even miss it. As my Nana would say, "there's some good in all evil."

Happy Friday! Hope you're all well!!

If you let someone else pack your gym bag, double-check it before you leave the house

First, let me say that my husband is an amazing, wonderful, sweetheart. He is always so helpful and supportive. Today he was helping me get out of the house to Body Combat before work and he packed up my gym bag with my street clothes and such. Awesome, thanks sweetie!

Then he calls me on the cell when I'm just a few minutes away from the gym (and 30 miles from home) to let me know that he thinks he forgot to put my bra in the bag. Eep! Since I go to work straight from the gym and don't have time for the hour round trip, I'm thinking, what to do, what to do...

When I got the the gym, I checked my bag and sure enough, the bra wasn't there. Luckily, the gym had sports bras for sale in their little shop area. So I purchased one to wear to work since the one I had on would be disgusting once I got through with Combat.

Cut to the shower room after class. I get out of the shower and dry off and start to get dressed. I start to put the new sports bra on and get it over my head and my arms partially through when I realize that I'm stuck. The combination of the snug fitting sports bra (they didn't have my size so I had to go one smaller and cross my fingers) and my semi-damp, fresh from the shower skin had caused the bra to twist around itself as I pulled it down and it was now stopped around my neck and upper arms. I was standing there with my elbows flailing in the air in an attempt to get the damn thing to either move up and off or down and into place where it belonged.

After much grunting, tugging, and pulling...success! Thank god there weren't any other women in the locker room because I'm sure that would have been quite the show. My second attempt went a bit more smoothly. Having learned from that first experience, I put my head through first, then one arm at a time and was able to get it on without too much trouble that time. Whew!

And I tell you what, I am looking STYLIN' now. Because I have such an awesome figure to start with, that smooshing my boobs down with a too-small sports bra to make me look even more frumpy is really working for me. Girls, watch your men cuz they're all gonna be wanting me looking like this!

I have been remiss

I haven't been blogging much lately. Probably because I've been really busy just trying to juggle work, exercise, kids, home, etc, you know, the usual drill we all juggle every day. But things have just been busier than usual of late. My apologies to the few people who follow this blog because I am just sure you breathlessly await every post from me. HA! :)

Anyway...I will post soon, I promise, with a summary of my progress in the TC, measurements, what I'm doing for workouts and nutrition now, etc.

Other news in my life...I've finally gotten back into scrapbooking and I am so, so excited about. I have done about 18 pages in Ian's (yes Ian's, haven't gotten close to Daniel's yet) baby book and I can feel the creative mojo coming back to me. I'm going on a crop weekend next weekend with some friends and we have ideas to use our Cricuts to make all kinds of adorable word books and all sorts of things. I can't wait! So you'll probably start seeing some posts on crafty stuff up here soon too.

Ok, off to Body Combat at the gym to take out some workplace agression in a more appropriate place than my cubicle wall or a particular software engineer's face. Have a good one!

Anchoring

Weight Watchers defines anchoring as “a process for creating cues and triggers to remind yourself of your weight goal and the inner resources you have to achieve it.” Your “anchor” is an object that reminds you to stay on track, something that can re-focus you when the going gets tough. A little something you can keep with you and look at or touch when you need it.

I’ve always had a tough time in my previous WW experiences to come up with an anchor. Ideally, it’s something that’s with you always so whenever you are tempted, feeling out of control, etc, you can bring yourself back. I don’t carry a purse, don’t even always have my keys if Scott drives, so attaching something to one of them wouldn’t work. I never really gave it too much thought. Yeah, it was a tool WW gave us to help us succeed, but I did okay without it, so whatev, right?

Lately, I have found myself touching my muscles. Not in a Divinyls, “I touch myself” kind of way – get your mind outta the gutter! But in a wow, I have muscles kind of way. You can’t always see them, but they’re there, believe it or not, under the layers of flab and they are getting stronger all the time. Occasionally I even catch a glimpse of them before the flab shimmies back over them, trying to hide them from the world. They’re just waiting for their moment to shine…when all the flab is gone for good and the muscles can bask in the glory of the sunshine. Ok, that last bit was a little corny, but you get what I’m sayin’, right?

In any event, when I’m sitting at my desk, or waiting at a stop light, I frequently find myself squeezing my biceps, or poking my quads. Sounds weird, I know, but I just can’t get over how firm and strong they feel. Me. The girl who has been struggling with her weight for so long, has muscles? Now, who’da thunk it? Even ask my family, I make Scott, my sisters, my mom, all of them, feel my muscles whenever I see them. It’s not unusual at a Voigt family gather to hear, “Feel my butt!” And they do. Now, that’s real love!

Last night driving home, I caught a glimpse of my bicep bulge out of the corner of my eye as I turned the steering wheel on a corner. And I thought…”there’s your anchor, Heather.” My muscles. They’re always with me and when I touch my bicep and feel that strength beneath the skin it reminds me that I am strong. I am stronger than any temptation that comes my way. I am strong enough to make it to the gym, even when I just want to go home and eat ice cream. I am strong enough to get myself healthy for my kids, for Scott, my sisters and parents, and most of all, for me. Ok, that last bit was corny too. But it’s the truth, so there!

What we've been up to and 5 things

Well, summer's in full swing at the Thayer household as evidenced by:
1. several loads of towels and swimsuits a week
2. bottles of sunscreen all over the house and in each car
3. flip flops and sandals everywhere you turn, from sub-miniature a.k.a. Daniel's size on up to adult size with a few different sizes in between.
4. Gracie's refusal to wear anything other than a tank top or sundress
5. Both the older kids' hair getting blonder already from the chlorine and the sunshine

I do love summer. I only wish I had more time to spend with the kids during these next few months. But without much cash for a vacation or vacation time to take off work, we'll make the best of it. On the occasional Wed, we will do the concerts in the park, on the occasional Friday we'll do the movies in the park. We'll go to the beach a handful of times and the lake a handful of times. Luckily they can sleep in on Tues, Thurs and Fri as they are home with Scott and that means we can be less stringent about bedtimes on most nights except Sundays and Tuesdays when he and I both have to be at work early. So with the late light we can go for bike rides and walks after dinner and head down to the park. We'll also set up our pool soon since the heat seems to be here to stay now. So the kids will be all over getting in the pool after dinner or while they're waiting for dinner. We'll BBQ and I'm going to try to convince Scott to spend some of our tax refund money on a new patio table. It's crazy, but we have terrible luck with tables, having had four of them damaged by windstorms, fallen tree branches and the like in the 12 years of our marriage. We're left with a nice abundance of mis-matched chairs and he is hesitant to buy another table as he assumes it will just get crushed, broken, shattered yet again. But if I can convince him, then we'll eat a lot of dinners outside as well. Even without the patio table, we can spread out a blanket and have a picnic out there too. Anyway, we plan to spend a lot of time outdoors this summer, one way or another.

The other sure sign of summer is swimming lessons. Swimming lessons are at 5:30 pm, which is nice. It was a pleasant surprise to find a few years back that the Paso pool had lesson times that actually fit a working mother's schedule. Imagine that. Something the other pools in the area had overlooked. So we're in the second week of session 1, then we'll have two weeks off, then four more weeks of swimming lessons, then two weeks off before school starts. Gee, when you say it like that, the summer sounds so short!

I love the fact that the Paso lessons are every day for two weeks. I know a lot of other pools ofter one or two lessons a week for several weeks. But in two weeks of swimming every day, the kids improve so quickly! Last summer, Gracie moved up three levels in 6 weeks of lessons...she started in 2, moved to pre-3, then moved up to 3 and at the end of the summer, they recommended her for level 4 this summer. It was crazy to watch her improve. By the end of the summer she was a little fish! Or a little mermaid, as she would probably prefer to be called.

Ok, enough rambling, I should get back to work. This blog is being read (dare I say followed? lol) by more of my friends and family now so I won't be focusing solely on fitness and exercise any more, but providing peeks into our crazy lives as well.

Oh, and I can't forget - my 5 things I'm grateful for today:
1. My nutrition session with Shelley - so helpful, and motivating and informational
2. body combat with Carey...love working out with that girl and love any of Lauren's classes
3. a supportive and loving husband
4. dinner with "the girls" tonight after work
5. 10 days off work in t minus three days

Ciao!

Five Things and Nutrition & Fitness Update

Five things I am grateful for today:
1. casual work environment that allows shorts on a beautiful Friday
2. a beautiful Friday
3. my housecleaner coming today!
4. going to Ventura on Sunday to see my family
5. good friends

I haven't posted in a while and I wanted to give an update on where I am with my plans for fitness and nutrition.

I signed up for Weight Watchers with a friend. We weigh in on Wednesdays so I'll try to post my progress here each Wed. I am trying to journal in my EQ journal: 1. because they want us to continue to turn them in on Tuesdays starting 6/30. 2. because I still want to pay attention to fat, protein, carbs, etc. I just added columns for fiber and points.

As for exercise, I signed up for a boot camp package which includes meeting with the nutritionist four times over the next eight weeks and meeting with the sports psychologist four times over the next eight weeks. I am trying to hit boot camp 2-3 times a week, rock bottom 1-2 times a week and occasionally throwing in a strength session out on the floor with a friend or two.

I'm trying to get my cardio in 5-6 days a week. I'm shooting for a mix of running, RPM and Body Combat. Running is 2 miles a few times a week. I decided to drop out of TNT as I just don't have the time to commit to the fundraising right now and my bronchitis was taking longer to go away than I expected so I was missing some of the training sessions and already felt behind. I am doing the City to Sea half-marathon in October so I'll post my training progress here. I'll be training with the EQ team starting August 8th.

I think that's about it. I am still trying to get my before and after pics to post here. I'll be meeting with my trainer from before the TC to see how much stronger I am and what my measurements are. She measured in a lot more places than they did for the TC so we're both anxious to see how that turns out as well as how much more weight I can do on my various exercises, etc. I'll have to do a post-TC progress post here soon. Just gotta get all my data together.

Happy Friday everyone! I wish everyone an enjoyable weekend!!

Here we go again...

This morning I went back to boot camp at the gym. I know, I know, you thought I was done with all those insane early morning workouts. But to be perfectly honest, I missed them! I felt like I was floundering a little bit since the challenge. I was trying to go in and do weights on my own and then I would do my cardio. And while I felt pretty good about the cardio, I still knew I wasn't pushing myself enough and knew I needed to start taking some more classes so I would push myself even harder.

As for the strength training, my team and I had chatted about getting some group personal training sessions going, maybe go once a week for four sessions or something so we know what we're doing when we go in on our own. But in the meantime, I needed to have a plan. So I signed up for the post-TC package #1 which includes:
24 sessions of Boot Camp (MWF at 6:30)
4 sessions with the nutritionist
4 sessions with the sports psychologist

Last night I hit rock bottom for the first time in weeks and I thought I was going to die. And then this morning was my first morning back at boot camp. I knew going into it that it was going to just about kill me. For three reasons:
1. I haven't done boot camp in three weeks
2. I got about four hours of sleep last night so I was exhausted
3. It was Lauren's day. Nuff said.

And even though I have been running on the treadmill and lifting weights and doing the machines these past three weeks....it....kicked...my....butt. And my quads. And my hamstrings. And my biceps. And my triceps. And just about every other muscle you could think of. By the time we were done, all my muscles were twitching like I had a dozen nervous tics! But it felt good. I'm sore already, but it feels good.

Sick, isn't it? 4 months ago if you would have told me that I would have liked getting my hiney kicked like that, I would have asked for you to share a little of whatever you were smokin'.

Ah, it's good to be back!

Family Photos

My friend Carey was kind enough to take some pictures of my kids. Here are a few of the pics. I can't wait to see all of them. I like that some of them aren't your typical portraits but more of the kids at play, etc. I haven't really been in any pictures of the kids for some time now and I can't say that I loved the shots of me, but at least it's documented - my children do indeed have a mother. If I were to die tomorrow, they'd have pictures of us together at least, right? LOL Anyway, just thought I'd share.

June Craziness and Five Things

Things have been kind of a whirlwind since the Transformation Challenge finished up. School is almost out and it’s been wrapping up Box Top contests and final issues of PTO newsletters and end of the year teacher and staff gifts and all that fun stuff. Gracie gets out on Thursday, and Ian finishes preschool the same day. Then it’s on to summertime – spending days at Janet’s and Grandma’s, swimming lessons, soccer, time in Ventura, time at the lake, concerts and movies in the park. Probably every bit as busy as the school year, but everything seems like more fun because it’s OUTDOORS! I love summer, love the sunshine, love the weather….love it, love it, love it!

First, let me list my five things to be grateful for. Thank you to Jean Steel for providing me with this idea. I think it’s great as it helps me to focus on the positive and not the things I naturally gravitate toward complaining about. Here we go, five things I’m grateful for today:
1. The last Box Tops contest of the school year is behind me
2. A boss that’s understanding enough to let me have a fairly flexible schedule
3. That Gracie won a Kookey in the Box Tops drawing. She watched enviously and patiently while I gave out six of them to other winners throughout the school year. So glad she won one fair and square!
4. A nice, cold diet coke this morning. I know, I know, not the best thing for me to drink, but I needed the caffeine today.
5. Two days off this week – Thursday and Friday!

I’ll post again soon, maybe later today, with my latest plans for fitness, diet, also with my official results and pictures from the Transformation Challenge.

5 Things

Here are 5 things I am grateful for today:

1. Sunshine
2. Living on the central coast
3. My husband and what a great job he does taking care of me and the kids
4. Lunch with "my girls"
5. My parents - happy belated bday, Daddy...not that he reads this, but... :)

Crazy busy right now with end of school, working out, etc, etc. I signed up for a half-marathon (what?!?). I know. Insane, right? I'm doing it through Team in Training and I'll write more about it later. I ran 1.5 miles on Monday, 2 miles on Tuesday, 2 miles on Wednesday. Today's a rest day and tomorrow I run 2 miles again, then 4 on Saturday. A tad nervous about the 4 on Saturday, but we'll see.

I'll post more later about my Transformation Challenge results and my post-TC workout plans.

Happy Thursday to anybody out there reading!

Final Boot Camp and 5 Things

Today was the last boot camp of the transformation challenge. Our whole team was there, which was nice and we got a group photo which was also nice. I am fighting a respiratory cold/cough thing and did the best I could, although I know that I didn't give 100% which made me a little sad. And I almost didn't stay and do cardio after because I felt so crummy, but Carey is such a little.....motivator (you thought I was going to say something else, didn't you, Carey?) that I got back out there and I did 20 min on the treadmill. It was a walk, not a run. And it was only at 2.5 mph instead of my usual 3.5 to 4. But I did incline it for a while to 7.0, then toned it down to 5.0. But I did it.

And that's somewhat sums up how I feel about this challenge wrapping up - I did it! I did it. There were definitely times that I thought, what did I sign up for, I'll never make it 12 weeks. But I did. Let me say it again, I did it! :)

I think the two most important things I am walking away from this challenge with are:
1. good habits - if not good, at least better; I'm still getting there on food, but I am definitely there with the workouts.
2. support - in the form of trainers, friends and teammates that will help me push through the tough times and help me celebrate my successes. They all rock!

We have our re-test, re-weigh, re-measure day next Wed. I'll post my stats (and maybe my pics if I'm brave) then.

And last but not least...

5 things I am grateful for today:
1. A long weekend ahead of me
2. My in-laws for watching the kids tonight so Scott and I can have a date!
3. People like Carey and Courtney who push me and make me smile
4. Nice weather
5. Finishing the Transformation Challenge!

Workout plan for my first week post-challenge

I'm definitely a planner so I am going to lay this out here so that I can be accountable to myself. If I don't know in my head what I'm going to do for the week, I'm sure I'm destined to fail. What's the old Weight Watchers saying? If you fail to plan, plan to fail. So here goes:

The remainder of this week:
Thurs: 10K day2 on treadmill or at home
Fri: Boot Camp, possibly Abs class, 10K mileage on treadmill, Rock Bottom at 4:35 then home for DATE WITH HUBBY!!
Sat: 10K workout with team
Sun: long walk with family or other activity

For the week of May25-31:
Mon: No classes at the gym so either: run at home or run at gym (mileage)
Tues: Body Pump 10:30-11:30, 10K day 1 on treadmill, RPM at 5:45pm if I get into work early enough
Wed: Body Flow 10:30-11:30, 10K day 2 on treadmill
Thurs: RPM at 6:45, 10K day 3 on treadmill at lunchtime
Fri: Body Combat 12-1, 10K mileage on treadmill, Rock Bottom at 4:35, Body Jam at 5:45
Sat: MM4K!!!
Sun: REST!
Totals: Cardio ~7 hours, resistance ~2 hours, stretching/recovery ~1 hour

I'm going to print this out, make appts in my outlook calendar and try to stick to this as much as possible. Knowing my workouts ahead of time help me to adjust my work schedule and kid pickup/dropoff accordingly. Wish me luck!

Grateful

Through the Transformation Challenge, I've gotten to hear Jean Steel speak a few times as well as read her book and she is inspiring to say the least. One of the things I learned from her is to take time every day to list out 5 things that you are grateful for. I have been focusing on the negative these last few weeks, letting the stress of daily life wear me down. But as of today, I am going to try to follow Jean's lead and find at least 5 things every day that I am grateful for. Here's my five for today:

1. Making it through 12 weeks of the Transformation Challenge!
2. My family
3. My health - fighting a nasty bug and trying to lose weight are nothing compared to the health struggles others deal with
4. My friends - awesome supporters with huge hearts that are always there for me!
5. Getting in to work early today - as brutal as being in the office at 6 am can be, it means I can head home early to spend time with the hubby and kids! :)

Happy Thursday to anyone out there. What are you grateful for today?

Transformation Challenge - Final week!

I know this is going to sound so cliche, but I really can't believe it's the last week of the challenge. I had to miss Monday's boot camp due to some work conflicts, and this morning kicked my boo-tay. Seriously, this shouldn't surprise me since it was Lauren. But I was exhausted from being up literally all night with the boys. They are both fighting a nasty bug and Ian's asthma kicked in big time so he was in our bed where I could listen to him breathe after giving him his inhaler. And Daniel is sick AND teething - nice combo, yes? So he was also in our bed part of the night. That made the workout especially hard. Partway through I felt sick, so I walked outside and took a breather. Went back in and held out a bit more. Went back out and Liz (very sweet trainer-in-training at the gym) came out to check on me. I just started crying when she asked if I was okay. I was so frustrated at the fact that I had to take a few breaks in the workout. I felt like I was back at week 1. I was mad at myself and feeling like I hadn't made any progress in 12 weeks! She cheered me up a bit and I went back in and finished the workout. I did abs class after with Lauren (never had her as abs instructor before and she rocked it, as usual). I probably should have stayed and done cardio after, but I just mentally couldn't get there. I'll go back this afternoon and do some running for my 10K training.

I know this morning was just exhaustion and stress hormones and all sorts of good stuff like that kicking in. I know that I have come a long way. I can't see it physically and my clothes aren't fitting much better. But I am down 17 pounds and I feel better most of the time - except, of course, mornings like this morning...lol. But those are by far the exception not the rule.

I'm looking forward to continuing to get fit and healthy. Alyse and I joined WW last Friday and we go to our first weigh in this Saturday. I just faxed in my application for Team in Training to do the San Francisco Nike Women's Half Marathon in October. I'm going to keep at this. And someday, maybe a year from now, maybe two years from now, but it will happen - I am going to have a ROCKIN' BOD and KILLER CONFIDENCE and best of all - GOOD HEALTH!

Frustrated!

These past few weeks, I have not been doing great in the challenge. I have been working out as much, or more, but I have not been eating well. I've fallen back into my old eating habits and I don't know why. I feel like it's a sort of self-sabatoge. I can recognize this pattern in my life where I get close to a goal and I let it slip out of my fingers. I don't know why. Am I afraid of success? Am I afraid that I won't live up to my own expectations? This is what worries me. I am seriously considering starting to see a therapist because I'm afraid that if I don't get to the bottom of WHY I overeat, I will never be able to maintain a healthy weight, let alone get down to a healthy weight in the first place.

My friend recommended a book on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and losing weight. It shipped from Amazon this weekend and I can't wait to get it and start reading. Maybe it will help too. Not sure if this link will work, but give it a shot: The Beck Diet Solution.

Now, I've got to force myself to get back to my healthy eating habits and finish strong in the challenge and hopefully be able to continue on and get to my goal. I know I can do this, I just have to DO it!

Transformation Challenge - Where do I go from here?

This is going to sound like such a cliche, but I can't believe it's been almost 12 weeks since this whole crazy ride started. Some days it feels like forever ago, some days it feels like just a few short weeks. I've had good weeks, bad weeks, terrible weeks and amazing weeks and everything in between. But I think the good/great/amazing weeks far outweighed the bad/terrible weeks. And I don't mean good weeks like I saw a good number on the scale. I mean, I had those too. But mostly my "good" weeks consisted of making it to boot camp all three days, making it in for a minimum of my five cardio workouts, and not just that, but weeks where I felt good, I felt strong, I felt motivated.

I think a lot of that has to do with my teammates. I think we are a group of the most amazing women. Every woman I have gotten to know within the challenge is amazing, actually. But my team has been phenomenal for me. They motivate me when I'm feeling discouraged, they push me when I need to be pushed just that little bit harder, they make me smile when I need it most, they support me through all the ups and downs of life and the challenges I face in trying to find the time and energy to focus on me for a change. They are awesome. They rock! To quote one of them, they rock "hard-core." :)

And a lot of it has to do with the staff at EQ, who are amazing. If I haven't mentioned that on here before, let me repeat it for emphasis...A-MAZ-ING! There aren't enough good words to describe the EQ team. If anyone is out there reading this blog and does not belong to a gym and oh yeah, is female? Run, don't walk, RUN to EQ and sign up. I can guarantee you will not regret it. And no, they aren't paying me to plug them here. I don't have nearly enough folks who read this to make that remotely worth their while. Nope, what I say about EQ on here is my honest-to-God opinion.

As the challenge wraps up, of course my mind wanders to thoughts of where do I go from here? Well, one of my teammates and I just joined Weight Watchers today. I've done that program before and it just works. It makes sense and you eat normal food not some pre-packaged stuff. And now I can use my knowledge of macronutrients and nutrition I've gained at EQ and apply that to WW and have the best of both worlds. WW is just easier for my life than tracking protein, fat, carbs, etc. I'll still pay attention to that on the food labels and such, and like I said, apply what I've learned to help me make good choices, but WW is something I can live with and still have the accountability that turning in my journal to EQ gave me. So that's the food side of things.

What about exercise? I was a member of EQ before the challenge and I will continue to be. I plan to continue to take classes and use the machines for a combination of resistance and cardio much like we maintained during the challenge. I'm going to take Body Pump and/or Rock Bottom 3-4 times a week for resistance. Then I'll take other classes and/or use the elliptical/treadmill/bike and/or run outside and/or swim for my cardio. The nice weather is making me want to hit the pool again. :)

Short term, I've signed up for the MM4K 10K on May 30th and will continue to train for that. I probably won't be able to run the whole thing, but my goal is to run/walk about 50/50 or maybe a little bit more on the run side. We'll see.

Long term, I'm attending a Team in Training kickoff meeting this Sunday to start training for the San Francisco Nike Women's Half-Marathon in October.

I started this post with a cliche and I'll end with one. This isn't an ending, but rather a beginning. Cheesy, but true. It's the beginning of a new life for me, a life filled with new habits, new friends, new goals, a new me inside and out. And I am so looking forward to living that life!

Word of the week - hard-core!

My friend Carey started this on Monday or Tuesday - word of the week: hard-core. And I ran with it.

Whatever you're doing in life - be hard-core. Don't do it half-assed. Why bother? All the way or not at all. Push yourself.

Wednesday, I wasn't feeling so well. I was really nausous and queasy in boot camp. I stepped outside for a few minutes. When that didn't help much, I ended up running to the restroom a bit later and losing my protein shake and then some. It was lovely, let me tell you. I wanted to go lie down. But my stomach did feel a lot better. I felt a little shaky, but I decided to run with the word of the week: hard-core. I went back into that workout room and I finished the training. I probably wasn't 100%, but I definitely didn't wuss out. And I definitely wasn't doing it half-assed. I was proud of myself. I was hard-core. I'm not saying to push yourself to injury or to make yourself sick. You have to know your limits. And I knew that as much as I wanted to go take it easy after throwing up, I didn't NEED to. My body was okay. The toxins had left the building, so to speak. If I needed to stop during the rest of training or call it quits, I would have. But I didn't need to, so I keep going. I pushed through and I even went and did 30 min of cardio on the treadmill, so there. :)

I am challenging myself this week to be hard-core.

My week so far....

This has been a stressful week. The kids are struggling, everyone's tired, some of us are sick, I'm overwhelmed to say the least. End of the school year is coming, Mother's Day this weekend - I think I have gifts figured out for mom and mom-in-law - PTO newsletter is put to bed for the year, finally! Box Tops is wrapping up, got a big "deadline" with that tonight. We're traveling down to Ventura this weekend and I need to do laundry, pack, clean house, etc. But I'm just beat.

But workouts are going okay this week.

Monday - boot camp, no cardio unfortunately, due to work commitments
Tuesday - marathon session: rock bottom, group training with Kate, then body flow
Wednesday - boot camp, 10K training on treadmill (30 min)
Thursday (today, planned) - 10K training on treadmill
Friday (planned) - boot camp, abs, 10K training on treadmill in the a.m. rock bottom and body jam in the p.m.
Saturday (planned) - body flow and 10K training on the treadmill
Sunday (planned) - 10K training at the beach in Ventura

I've got to pick up the pace with the 10K training. I saw the doctor on May 1st and finally picked up my prescription for NSAIDs last night, started taking them today. Two weeks and he says my knee will feel a lot better. We'll see.

We did some hamstring work in boot on Monday, then again in rock bottom on Tuesday, then a little bit in our group session on Tuesday and then again on Wed in boot. My hamstrings are killing me! And holy moley, this is the most sore I've been in a while. I don't know if that means I'm not working out hard enough or what, but I am feeling it in my calves, hamstrings, inner thighs, quads, abs, biceps and triceps. Whew! What a week. At least there's only one more strength session before next week and the rest is cardio. Never thought I'd be thankful for cardio, but there it is.

Happy Thursday to anyone reading...if there's anyone reading. LOL

You, and only you, are responsible for pushing yourself

Some of the girls in the challenge have complained about the lack of motivation, excitement, etc on some of our workouts. It definitely does depend on the trainer. Some of the trainers might not be as fun, entertaining, intense, whatever. But if you push yourself, you can make it a good workout, no matter who the trainer is. This morning, we had stations set up around the room, and you were doing a different exercise at each station - some were step stations, some were abs, some were using weights, etc. I noticed that one of the girls was adding on to her stuff, whatever she was doing - raising arms on the step, doing shoulder presses with the weights during the squats - adding on to what the trainer instructed us to do to challenge herself. If you don't think it's hard enough, make it harder. Go an inch deeper in that squat, run faster, pickup a heavier weight, whatever you need to do. We won't have boot camp or even a trainer (god knows I won't be able to afford to go back to personal training sessions) when this is over and I know for most of us (if not all of us) this is going to be a lifelong struggle. I don't think there's any of us who have the metabolism to eat what we want or even eat healthy and NOT workout pretty hard or we wouldn't be in this challenge. We're going to have to push ourselves for the rest of our lives. Get used to it, ladies... :)

Spin Class - aka Class 'o Pain

So I went to RPM last night, the Les Mills Spin Class. Great workout. I was feeling it big time and I was sweating like crazy.

And I'm all about feeling the burn in my workouts. Pushing myself to fatigue or failure? Bring it. But I'm not about pain. Workout, pushing myself pain, fine. Rock hard stupid bike seat making me feel like I'll never walk normal (let alone have sex) ever again? Not so much. My ass hurt so bad and I swear, my tailbone and buttbones are seriously bruised. And my toes went numb by the end of class. Nice. The trainer said the numb toes are kind of normal, check how tight my pedal straps are, wiggle my toes during recovery, etc.

It was a good class and a good workout, but I will have a hard time going back just because it wasn't fun because of those painful things. I will go back. I know it's better for my knees right now. And everyone told me, oh, after three or four classes, you won't notice the seat. Ok. But I won't make it through three or four classes with that much pain. I'm really not trying to be a wuss, but I'm a dead serious. I needed to go home and sit on a bag of frozen peas for an hour or so. I'm going to hit the sporting goods store before my next class and get either padded bike shorts or a padded seat cover I can take with me to class.

Until then, I'll be reminded of how much that class hurt every time I sit down.

Transformation Challenge - Week 8 Reflections

Only four weeks left of my Transformation Challenge at the gym and I am a bit sad. I don't want it to end. First, and most importantly, because it has been an amazing and seriously life-changing experience. Second, I'm not ready. I'm not ready for it to be over...I'm not where I wanted to be, I feel like I have so much further to go. I feel like one of those contestants on the Biggest Loser who say they're not ready to go home yet. I'm not ready to leave the comfort of the "nest," to leave the Transformation Challenge.

But....

I also know that it will never be over for me. My Transformation Challenge might have started 8 weeks ago, but my transformation will continue for the rest of my life. Each day, I will be striving to be better than I was the day before. One day at a time. Just one day better at a time. That's all we can ever ask of ourselves. It will probably take me over a year to get to my goal. It's not a short-term commitment and not for the faint of heart. But you can bet that I will keep the faith. I have made huge changes to my eating habits, my workout habits, my LIFE and I will never go back to those old ways again. I have made friends in my teammates, friends in the other women on the other teams, friends in my trainers. And those relationships and those friendships will keep me going long after the challenge is officially over. I will see them at the gym, I will train with them still, we will email and call and facebook and still connect. And still support and encourage each other and cheer each other on. I will see the trainers and take their classes and maybe even schedule some training sessions with them as well. And I know that they will be watching me, encouraging me, happy to see my face around the gym, happy to watch me succeed, happy to help me succeed.

I've learned a lot about myself as well. I've learned that I can do new things, try new things on my own or with friends and no one is going to laugh at me.

I've learned that even though my life has a lot of challenges right now with work, the kids, going to school, etc, so does everyone else's. We all struggle in different ways. It's about making tough choices and prioritizing. Making the priorities in your head match the priorities in your life. If you say your health is important to you, then don't go home and eat ice cream on the couch every night after dinner. Don't say that family is important to you if you aren't taking care of yourself enough to be there for them in 10 years.

I've learned that I'm a lot stronger than I thought I was. I had an enlightening moment during a Step class a few weeks back. It was filled with a bunch of Poly Dollies and a handful of my teammates (all thinner than me). When it came time to do tricep dips, I was kicking the Poly Dollies' hinies! And again, when it was time to do pushups, I was on my toes for all 15 of them and not one of those college girls were doing that. Shoot, some of them couldn't even manage to keep their form while doing the "girly" push ups. I might still be heavier than all of them, but I am a heck of a lot stronger.

And not just physically stronger either. I'm stronger emotionally than I ever thought I was. It has been hard. It has been a struggle. I haven't been around as much for my k ids, which is a very difficult thing for me and for them (not to mention my poor husband!). And the stress of work, homelife, school, the challenge has made me break down and cry more than once in the past 8 weeks. Just last week I had one of those days and I remember thinking, "I can't do this. I can't keep trying to be all things to all people AND take care of myself!"

But I can do this. It goes back to setting priorities as I mentioned before and putting myself and my family's needs before everyone else for a change. PTO brownies and Girl Scout Leader Appreciation Day will have to wait. Not forever, just for now. And I can do anything I set my mind to. I may have doubted that a lot in the past, and probably will still occasionally in the future. But it's the truth. In my heart, I know that. And when I doubt myself in the future, I will think back to these 12 weeks of my life and realize that I can really do anything I set my mind to.

So here's to my last four weeks of this challenge! My teammates and I have all vowed to step it up big time and kick this challenge's butt. We may not be the team with the most points, but we are by far, in my opinion, the team with the most heart.

Breaking through!

Warning: Scale numbers have been omitted to protect the innocent -- ME! Okay, maybe I'm not that innocent...hold up, did I just channel Brittney? Egad!

Today I finally broke through a barrier on the scale that I haven't been under since just after Daniel was born. I'm not listing actual numbers on here just on the off chance an old boyfriend or someone stumbles upon this post. Yes, I'm that proud.

Anyway, it's one of those 10-pound markers that I've been pushing to be under for a while. For example, 120 or 130. Hey, I said FOR EXAMPLE, didn't I?!?!

Did I get under it before yesterday's official weigh-in day? Of course not. But that's okay, I'm under it now and I will never see that other number on the scale ever again. EVER! Onward and upward folks! But that's negative logic since I want the numbers on the scale to go down. So I guess that would be "Onward and NOT upward." I know, I'm an engineering geek and proud of it.

Transformation Challenge Update - Week 7

Yes. I've been MIA for a bit. Not that I think many folks would notice as I don't have a ton of followers. As I've said before, this is really just a place for me to think out loud and save on my therapist's bill. If anyone sees it, reads it, enjoys it, great. But if not, oh well.

So we are into week 7. I am now down 16 pounds from my starting weight and I haven't had my measurements taken in some time, but I would assume I'm down a bit further in that area as well. My clothes don't really feel like they are fitting much more loosely which is a bit disappointing, especially in the waist. I'll have to ask my trainer to see if there are any exercises I can be doing or food I can be eating, other than what I'm doing already, to target my stomach flab. I'm already doing an abs class once a week, lots of abs in boot camp and in my other classes. We'll see...

So since I posted last, I have tried out a few new classes. One of them was last night and it was Body Attack. Ok, somebody really should have warned me that they should just call that class, "Run Your Ass Off." It was so fast-paced and so crazy. Run here, run there, run back, run forward, run, kick, run, kick, run, jump, run, jump, run, run, run, then run some more. And oh yeah...run!

But in a sick, kind of twisted way, I think I liked it. I think it will be easier on my knees than Step, and makes me sweat and work as much, if not more than Step. I was soaking wet from head to toe last night. I know, probably TMI, but seriously. I don't think there was one dry inch of clothing or skin or hair when we were done. Could I keep up with all of it? Hell no! But I just kept moving.

I think body attack's one of those classes I will strive to keep up with. I'll know I've come a long way when I can keep up with the choreography. Sadly, the choreography wasn't that tough, but this former cheer and songleader still got lost occasionally. I'm just not that quick on my feet anymore. I'm sure that has to do with this excess weight I'm hauling around so I can only hope that will improve over time.

I also signed up for the 10K training program at EQ. I am going to walk, maybe run, a 10K the end of May - the Miracle Miles for Kids from Morro Rock to the Cayucos Pier. I'll have to start walking/running on sand every once in a while to get used to it. The training program at the gym gives us a set of individually created workouts for you to do during the week and then we get together every Saturday at 8:30 to train together. My first group session will be this Saturday as I was out of town last Saturday. I'm looking forward to it.

I am also seriously contemplating doing a half-marathon (Team in Training) in October of this year. I feel like I need something to work toward after the Transformation Challenge. My friend Melissa is probably going to do it with me. As a matter of fact, I think I'll sign up on the web site today!

Just to be accountable if only to myself, my workout plans for the week are:

Monday - boot camp, treadmill (10K training), body attack - done.
Tuesday - rock bottom class, treadmill (10K training)
Wednesday - boot camp, treadmill (10K training)
Thursday - body flow, treadmill (10K training)
Friday - boot camp, treadmill (10K training), rock bottom, body jam
Saturday - group 10K session

Ok, back to work!

Results so far...

I have to say that I was a bit disappointed with my week 4 stats. They are as follows:

Weight: down 9 lbs
Waist: down 0.5"
Hips: down 1.5"
Thighs: down 1.5"

I thought my thighs looked a little thinner. I wasn't too bummed about the 9 lbs, although I thought I could have done better. Wasn't perfect on food, but I'm getting there. I was really frustrated by the 0.5" on my waist. My waist is usually the first place I lose it. But I guess having three kids changed all that, eh? My clothes don't seem to fit any different which is the big frustration. Usually you hear people say, "I haven't lost any weight, but my clothes are fitting better, so I know it's working." Well, I can honestly say that even though I've lost 9 lbs, my clothes were feeling just as tight at week 4. Sigh.

But what's funny (and kind of goes right along with my luck these days) is that the day after my official weigh in for week 4 where I was only down a pound from week 3, I was down another 3. So if we had weighed in one day later, I would have lost 4 pounds in week 4. Grrrrrr! But hey, at least I have a jumpstart on this week. Here's hoping my four pounds stay gone and invite some of their friends to join them!

Transformation Challenge - Week 4 Wrapup and on to Week 5

I rocked Week 4. Rocked it. I mean, seriously rocked it. I put in 16 hours working out last week. That is a frickin' part-time job for frick's sake! But I felt amazing. By Friday night I was so damn exhausted though, all I could think about was getting in a tub and soaking my poor sore muscles, stiff joints and aching bones. It's hell getting old, yes? But of course, with three little ones, you can't ever go home and just get in the tub for a soak, right? I think I finally made it into the tub sometime on Sunday, but I can't quite remember.

I have a few friends across the country who I email quite frequently and we started a workout challenge this last week. 2 points for every half hour of cardio, 1 point for every half hour of resistance training, at the end of the week, you lose half your points if you gain any weight. Well, guess who won the challenge last week? Me! With 49 points!! And that's really saying something because my one friend works out like a fiend and I even beat her by 3 points. My prize was to pick their facebook status for the week. I chose, " wishes she could be like Heather because Heather is cool." Lame, I know, but I'm not very creative on those sorts of things. They all have to send me a scratcher or quick pick from their respective state too. We have three more weeks of the challenge so wish me continued success.

We are midway through week 5 and I am having a tough time again. My legs just feel like lead, I'm so frickin' exhausted and having a hard time pushing myself. Thank god for my team who does not let me slack off. So far this week my workouts have been:

Monday - Boot Camp (60 min), Stationary Bike (30 min)
Tuesday - Stationary Bike (30 min), Body Step (60 min)
Wednesday - Boot Camp (60 min), Stationary Bike (30 min)

I'm going back this afternoon to do another hour of cardio. I know the resistance training is crucial to losing weight (and I want to have a rock hard bod a year from now!) but I'm definitely getting that in during Boot Camp and some of the other classes, but I think the cardio is key for my weight loss right now so I'm really trying hard to get 30-90 min of cardio in a day.

The plan for the rest of the week:

Thursday - Body Flow (60 min), Body Step (60 min), I might try to squeeze in some time on the elliptical sometime during the day
Friday - Boot Camp (60 min), Rock Bottom (60 min) and Body Jam (60 min)

Saturday and Sunday will be mostly rest, but I'm going to try to get out and do something active with the family even if it is a more leisurely stroll and wouldn't count for cardio. At least I'm moving my body and burning some calories, right?

Monday morning Boot Camp, Nat and Kate were killers. At the start of class, they say something like, "we are so tired of hearing how hard Lauren's Wednesday Boot Camp is!" I just groaned to myself and thought, "here we go." And did we go. And go. And go. The resistance was still there but they way stepped up the cardio. We're talkin' way. Thought I was gonna die. But I didn't. I pushed through and at the end, I felt great! I don't know that I'm losing as much as some of the other girls or whether anyone else can see a difference, but I can feel a difference and that's what matters. I am moving better and easier (when I'm not falling down sore, that is) and I am so happy about the changes I'm making in my life. Now, if I could only win the lottery, quit my job and stay home with the kids, things would be perfect. Maybe one of those out-of-state tickets my friends are sending will be just the ticket, pun intended.

Transformation Challenge - weeks 3 and 4

I typed this up last week and never got a chance to post it. So here's to a major catchup day on the blog.

Week 3 was a killer week physically. The first two weeks they were holding back just a tad so that they could make sure no one was going to injure themselves and allowed us a little time to ramp up. Week 3 they brought it. And some of its friends. It was intense. The workouts were amazing. I have honestly never sweat so much in my entire life. But it felt good. I thought I was going to die at times…but I didn’t. And it felt good. I felt stronger.

There was a little bit of the “the-rest-of-my-life-is-falling-to-shambles-what-made-me-think-I-could-commit-this-much-time-and-energy-to-this” going on, but I pushed through it.
I did get a shin splint in week 3, but the staff was so amazing. Advice on stretches, strengthening exercises, proper shoes, icing and other treatments was passed out by at least half the staff and they all would stop and ask how my shin was whenever they saw me. Truly amazing people at this gym. If you are a woman in the SLO area, I strongly encourage you to check it out. www.eqclubs.com. They are a smaller gym. They don’t have an indoor and outdoor pool or racquetball courts. But they have the most amazing team, lots of great classes and I love the smaller feel, the one-on-one attention. Everyone knows me there now and I know them and I fully believe they are there to support me and want to see me succeed.

Week 4 has been tougher than I thought it would be. This week has been good physically – I’ve been stepping it up and getting lots of cardio in, being adventurous and taking a few classes. I love Body Flow and Body Step and I tried Body Jam for the first time on Friday and loved it, loved it, loved it. Those of you who know me know I love to dance and this class is all about that. You don't even realize you are working your ass off and sweating a bucket because you're having so much fun!

Emotionally, mentally, logistically, this week kicked my butt.

Thursday night we had our meeting with our trainer. She is a great gal and an inspirational trainer. She is this skinny little thing that eats 4000 calories a day (no joke, she told us that) because she's a competitive cyclist and trains 5-6 hours a day. Anyway, she's super supportive, super knowledgeable; it was just a great meeting. A few of the girls that were struggling psychologically got pumped up by us all and I walked out of there feeling so good about things.

And then I went home.

The house is a frickin disaster, dishes overflowing the sink, toys and clothes everywhere. The kids are cranky and still need to brush teeth and do stories, so we hustle them on up to bed and get Gracie settled (my good sleeper, bless her). Ian comes back downstairs like 5 times and every time, he wakes Daniel up, who I'm nursing on the couch. UGH! So all the kids are finally asleep -- at 9:30. I'm so frickin' exhausted by this point, haven't showered from my three hour marathon workout yet, haven't gotten to eat . I sat on the couch and seriously contemplated quitting. What made me think I could make this kind of commitment. Seriously. What. Was. I. Thinking? I pretty much make my mind up that this is the last week. I’ll tell my team on Saturday at our workshop that I’m bowing out. They are all more of a woman than I am.

So then we're sitting there watching "Biggest Loser" and I start to cry because one of the guys talks about how getting the phone call from the Biggest Loser changed his life. And I realized that this is my chance to change my life FOREVER. PERMANENTLY! For the good. With an amazing group of women and awesome trainers and just more resources at my disposal than I would have ever had on my own and I don't want to quit. But I feel like I’m letting my family down. Scott and I talked about it and we're both going to try harder to do more things to make things easier on everyone (even more night before prep, lunches, clothes, etc) and trying to come up with a set schedule so he knows I'll be home for dinner x number of nights a week. Wish us luck, we are going to need it. 8 more weeks...8 more weeks... just let me make it through 8 more weeks!

I am blessed to have an amazing support system in my family, my friends and my team. They have pumped me up a bit this week and I’ll stick it out another week. I’ll post my measurements for the first month soon.

Week 2 Wrap Up...Starting Week 3

Well, I'd be lying if I said that week 2 was easy on me. It kicked my hiney. And as we finish up that second week and start up the third, this is about the time that my gung-ho, rah-rah, I can do this, I'm going to be smokin' hot by this time next year attitude dies out. And it usually is about the time I start paying the price for the other aspects of my life that I'm neglecting in order to take care of my health.

First let me say that Scott rocks. If you didn't already know this, he is the most amazing guy. :) But he is struggling right now with my being gone even more than before as are the kids. Daddy's not as good at things like remembering to have Gracie do her homework if I get home late or remembering to even brush her hair, let alone pull it back or anything and so then she's upset when I get home at night because she didn't get her book report turned in and is crying because she got to school and realized her hair wasn't brushed. I am trying to work on her taking more responsibility for herself, her homework, etc but it's a process. And in the meantime, I feel guilty and like the worst mom ever.

And I am so tired from: a. the increased intensity, duration and frequency of workouts, b. Daniel STILL not sleeping (he has a new cold and I hope not another ear infection or I'll shoot myself), and c. the change in schedule (getting up at 5, but still going to bed at 11 or 12). I know these things will get better and its an adjustment, but right now, when I get home, I do dinner, homework, baths, bedtime with the kids and by the time I come back downstairs, pack the kids' lunches, make sure everyone has clothes for tomorrow, pack my gym bag, load the dishwasher, etc...even with Scott helping me with it all, I am just p00ped.

The kids are cranky a lot because they aren't seeing me as much because I'm gone every morning and because I'm getting into work later half the time because of going to the gym first or taking a longer lunch hour, sometimes I'm working later too. And since they're cranky, they're kicking Scott's azz when he's home with them, so then he's not getting as much done around the house and such as he used to for me which just puts us further behind on everything. And he's cranky too which makes things oh-so-pleasant when I DO get home.

Add to that tomorrow is my final exam and skills assessment in my networking class. And my house is a mess, I'm behind on laundry and I have family coming into town this weekend for Daniel's party, Gracie's musical performance, and Ian's first t-ball game <-- Can we throw a few MORE things into one weekend?!?! Thank GOD that my housekeeper is coming on Wed, then I just have to manage to keep the house clean for three more days! LOL And I just think to myself, "is it worth it?!? I'm making my family miserable (and myself in some respects) so that I can do this?" This is the point in the past where I fall off the wagon. This is the point where in the past I'd stop walking, stop running, stop going to the gym, stop whatever and focus on the rest of my life. But I know I have to push past this. I know it's better for the whole family in the end. I need to do this. I need to do this. I need to do this. It has become my mantra.

Ok, so there's the vent. The positive spin though is that I know I'll get through this. All my friends and family are so supportive. And my team is so supportive and they are really a huge part of keeping me going and showing up for workouts. That and the fact Scott would kick my slightly smaller butt if I stopped going after paying all that money!

And here's the rah-rah, not a vent part:

1. I lost another 3 pounds this week for a total of 8
2. Me and the kids hiked up Bishop's Peak on Sunday....something I haven't done in forever and wouldn't have thought to do if it weren't for the challenge. Did we make it all the way? Heck no. But we had fun and we almost made it to the tree line. The kids are so excited and want to do Madonna Mountain next weekend.
3. My snacking habits are definitely subsiding. I may not be eating perfectly all the time, but I have noticed I don't feel the need to munch nearly so much as I used to and I'm able to turn down temptation a little more readily.
4. I am actually eating some veggies, if you can believe that one. I'm starting slow by putting them in salads and other dishes, but I've been regularly consuming them on a daily basis which is a HUGE improvement over my former veggie intake.
5. I've drastically cut back on my diet dr pepper intake (although not gone completely) and greatly increased my water intake

Those are all good things and help motivate me to keep going.

On a neither rah-rah nor venting note: boot camp this morning just. about. killed. me. My teammate Alyse just had to email our assigned trainer Kate that one of the trainers didn't give us a good workout on Thursday last week. Well, Kate and another kick butt trainer do the Monday boot camp. Oh yes, we paid for Alyse's comments. It was so brutal! I don't think I've ever sweat that much in my life. They gave us like NO breaks between sets and some killer Biggest Loser burpees and similar moves, along with some Jillian Michaels "unless you puke, pass out or die, keep running" attitude. At the end, Kate looks around the room and says, "Does anyone not feel sufficiently challenged?" You can bet no one said a word. Granted, that was in part because most of us couldn't breathe, but still.

Week 1 Weigh In

Woo hoo! Down 5 lbs. Haven't lost that much in a week since I first did weight watchers like 6 years ago! I don't think I ate enough calories this week though so I'll have to keep an eye on that.

I did have my metabolic testing, but I was surprised by the results. My RMR (resting metabolic rate) was much higher than I expected...2000 calories! Add in normal daily activities took me up to 2700. That's insane to me. But I guess if you have been overweight for a while, which I have, then you have to develop muscle mass to lug around all that extra weight. So that makes your metabolism higher than a thinner person who doesn't work out to intentionally build that muscle up. Interesting. I'm learning so much and it's only going into week 2.

And did I mention again that my team rocks?!?! GO 6 PACK!!!!

Transformation Challenge - Week 2

Friday, 13Mar09


This week was a challenging one, at best. The workouts seemed harder, getting up early seemed harder, but I pushed through. I did miss Monday's boot camp because I set the alarm for 5 PM instead of 5AM, but I'm going to make it up...gulp...tomorrow morning. I am dreading getting up and getting to SLO and exercising that early (7 am) on a Saturday, but I gotta do it. And I need to get some cardio in as well.


A big challenge this week was not letting life derail me like I usually would right about now. I had a tough weekend and wasn't able to prep for the week like I would like and it made it that much harder to stick with the program. Scott has been amazing because I know it has been hard on him. But he understands that I need to do this and is doing his best to make it happen.

My team continues to amaze me...so supportive and encouraging and motivated.

GO TEAM 6 PACK!

Transformation Challenge - Week 1

I'm posting a few posts belatedly, so post dates don't correspond with actual dates.

06Mar09 - End of week 1

This morning I had my third kick-azz cardio/resistance training session for the week, followed by my 4th cardio solo workout of the week. Even though I still have one more solo cardio workout to do tomorrow, I think it's safe to say that I made it through week 1 alive. LOL
I was sick as a dog the first half of this week so I just had to push through it. No excuses. You only get two excused absences and then they boot you out of the program and I am definitely not letting that happen to me!

This is awesome because if I were working out solo, I so would have opted to stay in bed and sleep in until I had to go to work because I was sick. But you know what? It didn't kill me to work out. I might have *felt* like I was gonna die, but hey, who's to say that isn't just from the whooping the trainers were doling out vs. the bug I was fighting, right? ;-)

The biggest challenge this week has been food. I didn't get a chance to grocery shop, prep veggies, prep fruit, grill chicken, etc for the week as I had planned because I literally could not get out of bed on Sunday. And then once the week started...whoa!

So I've been eating healthy with what I had available to me at home and at work. And when I'm occasionally given the choice between eating something crappy and eating nothing, I've been choosing to eat nothing. And I know that's not good because I'm burning all kinds of energy working out, but I'm really trying to make this a permanent lifestyle change. I feel like if I pick the crappy food, then I'm not changing my eating habits, even if I'm still well within my daily calories. I'm sure when I turn in my food journal on Monday I will be scolded for eating two few calories, but I'll do better next week.

Having to turn in my journal for the nutritionist to grade and give pointers is way keeping me in check on eating too. I mean, yeah, I had to journal in WW, but who was going to see it? If I didn't journal an entire day or stayed in my points, but ate crappy, who was going to really know other than me? This is definitely the discipline I needed to force me to be honest with myself about what I was really eating as well as getting in that gym every day so that at the end of 12 weeks, it's just part of my life. It's what I do, there isn't even a question, it's just there, you know?

Tomorrow is the nutrition/diet seminar and cooking class. Can't wait! I'm anxious to get some of the questions that have come up this week about nutrition answered as well as learn some other stuff I didn't even know that I didn't know!

And did I mention I love my team? They are some really neat ladies and we have fun together. We're going to try to take a hike up a Bishop's occasionally and go kayaking once in a while in addition to our normal workouts. And one of the gals is making us all team T-shirts. We definitely seem to be a lot more supportive of each other and cohesive as a team than some of the other gals. Not that it matters. Our goal isn't to be the "best" team, but to just make some changes in our lives and get healthy for the long term. If we win the challenge by doing that, great!

I have my metabolic testing on Saturday morning - 12 hour fast, no caffeine, no exercise, just water and any required medications. Sit in a dark room for 12 minutes, don't think about anything really...but DON'T FALL ASLEEP! Um, yeah, I've been getting about 5-6 hours a night interrupted at least 3 times for the past two months. Good luck with my not falling asleep! LOL But I can't wait to hear what they say..."Yes, Heather, your metabolism is complete sh!t. You need to workout three hours a day and eat 500 calories. With that program, you should be able to lose about 0.5 lbs/week. Isn't that great?" HA! I'm sure it won't be quite that bad, but I'm interested. Can't wait to find out.

Transformation Challenge

Ok, since I last posted about my weight loss journey, a lot has changed. I decided to join a gym and hire a personal trainer to keep me accountable. I needed something drastic to make me stick with an exercise routine. I looked around and decided to go back to Equilibrium in SLO. I used to belong waaaaay back when it was Cory Everson's. Back then I liked the fact that it was a women-only gym, and I still do. But what really attracted me to this gym this time around was the fact that they look at every aspect of wellness as being important, not just diet and physical fitness.

So I started working with the trainer twice a week and it felt good. And I was doing cardio 2-4 times a week at the gym, and I felt good. But then a couple weeks passed, life happened and I fell off the cardio wagon and was just making it in to the training appts. That still felt good, but I had gained a few pounds and I knew just weight training wasn't going to do it for me. I needed to be better about cardio and I was struggling with making myself a priority enough to get in there and do it.

Not too long after I joined EQ, they announced their Transformation Challenge. This intrigued me. Eight women would be chosen out of ?? applicants to take part in the challenge which includes a personal training sessions, nutritionist services, etc. My main motivation was that it might provide the accountability I needed on the cardio side. Also, letting my competitive side (bet ya didn't know I had one, did ya?) push me to do this 110%. Think Biggest Loser but on a smaller, local scale.

The first step of the process was a panel interview - panel of trainers, etc and a panel of wannabe contestents. They said at the end of the interview, "if you don't make it in, don't feel bad, just know that we thought you had something going for you that some other folks didn't." Right there I thought, that's it, I won't make it in, I already started training at their gym with a trainer, they figure I can do it on my own. Frick. LOL

And sure enough, I was not one of the chosen 8. However....they were able to offer it to up to 30 more women at a discounted rate and I think I was literally the first person to ask, "where do I sign?" The more I learned about it, the more impressed I was with this challenge...it really was taking in every aspect of health and wellness. There would be seminars on nutrition, stress management, etc, weekly weigh-ins with a nutritionist reviewing our food journals, etc. This was exactly what I needed!

I'm not expecting to lose 100 lbs in 3 months like those people on biggest loser (although it would be nice..ha ha) but I do hope to walk away from this with some permanent lifestyle changes that include eating healthier every day and making exercise part of my daily life. Wish me luck!